What’s in a word? Letters. Emotion. Attitude. Sadness. Hate. Regret. Life Lessons. There’s so much in a word. It is said that in face-to-face communication, 55% of what we convey is the nonverbals; such as, our body language, 38% is our tone, pitch, and volume, and only 7% is the actually words that we speak. While; by these findings, the actual words that we speak have little impact in our communication, the truth is that the words that we speak to children absolutely have a huge effect on children. The nonverbals and the vocal components of our conversation add a great amount to the impact on children as well. As adults, our words to child can build them up and encourage them and give them life. Our words can empower children to strive to succeed. Also; our words can belittle, squash, condemn, and curse children and the rest of their lives. Each child; each individual, was created by God with a specific purpose, when the adults in the life of a child speak cutting words to them and over them, their lives are impacted permanently; or until their hearts are connected to the God who created them.

I have personally been impacted by words spoken over me as a child. The same question asked to me almost every day for years; or maybe it just seemed that way, the question was burned into my mind so deeply that into adulthood it was a struggle for me to accept that God’s promises are for me; like they are for every other person. The question I was asked is not the point; the point is that the tender God-created heart of a child is a precious important part of who they are. The physical heart supplies the needed nutrients to the rest of the body. When it isn’t cared for and nurtured it doesn’t work properly and tends to break down. The spiritual heart is very much the same. When a child has cutting words spoken to them or over them, their spiritual heart is deeply wounded; not cared for or nurtured. As the child grows into an adult, they find themselves walking around with that same wounded uncared for heart. Several outcomes are possible. They may strive to be perfect so they will be accepted, loved, and belong. They may become criminals, become hard-hearted, become people-pleasers, or they may work themselves beyond human capacity. Of course this is not an exhaustive list; I just wanted to share some examples.

The enemy of our souls loves to play in these situations. He likes to tell us; in our own voice (in our minds), that we don’t deserve to be loved, we have to go 90 miles an hour with our hair on fire or we won’t measure up, or your just stupid and worthless; whatever it is that relates to what was spoken to you as a child. The heart of a child is so tender and wants so much to be loved and cared for; words spoken really do matter.

Scripture warns us to guard our hearts because it is the wellspring of our being and that we are to watch our tongue because it is like a two-edged sword. Words can cut like a knife. The difference is the physical wounds heal and become a distant memory that we share when we want to compare ‘war stories.’ With words, you can’t see the scars but they are very real and continue to hurt long after the dust settles.

I realize that this is a pretty bleak post. I want to share hope. I have found so much healing through freedom ministry and handing over wounds to Jesus. He takes such great care of them and me! I still deal with triggers and sometimes it still hurts; but I know that I can run to Jesus and He’s going to carry me through until the hurt subsides. For years; I just buried everything, thinking that it would go away or magically be healed because I didn’t want to deal with all that stuff anymore. One of the things that Jesus has shown me is that I can use my own; albeit, difficult story to help others who have experienced something similar. I also have been determined to do my best to not speak cutting words over the children in my life. Of course I am far from perfect and have a long way to go; however, I am at peace knowing that my Great God has His mighty Hands all over my life.

If you have experienced a childhood with condemning words spoken to you or over you and you just need to talk it out, I am here with a sympatric ear and a tender heart. May God use what the enemy has intended for evil, for our good and His glory.

#ShutUpSatan