As I sat thinking about what I just read about the book of Nehemiah, chapters four through six, something monumental occurred to me. God will allow manmade constructs to be torn down and demolished for the rebuild to be better. Lessons are learned. Scars still remain. Maybe the rebuild isn’t as fancy or blingy as the original. The fancy bling isn’t for God, it’s for human eyes and human pride.
What shall I do with this monumental occurrence?
Through the years, I’ve built walls brick by brick, slathering between each layer, the mortar that would hold it all together. I wasn’t going to let anything take down these ‘protective structures.’ But wait, did they truly protect me? Could they be brought down?
Did I even realize I had built these constructs? Nope. No, I didn’t. Not until God showed me he was tearing them down. Sometimes brick by brick, as they were built up. Sometimes … an entire section would be brought down in a heap as if a wrecking ball had come through. Tears. A puddle of tears I would find myself in.
Rebuilding.
Time to rebuild. And yet … in the rebuilding, there’s still some demo still being done.
I see in the rebuilding, the scars from the original wall are still present. There’s learning to rebuild with different materials, different tools, different builders.
Nehemiah chapter four. It occurs to me that while the people rebuilt Jerusalem, they were actively combating their enemies. They had weapons of warfare in one hand and building tools in the other. Some builders served as guards to protect the workers as they labored. They labored by day and stood guard by night.
I truly see, spiritually, emotionally, and physically, there’s warfare in the rebuilding.
And battle armor is a necessity.
Faulty protective walls come down. Newness of vision arises. Rebuilt structures exist for a purpose. For the welcoming of God. For the presence of the Father. Not for the eye candy of man. Not for the puffing up of man.
The new is a choice to usher into private quarters, the presence, power, and majesty of God. Into the scars. Into the rubble of the past. Into the strength of Jesus.
The beauty of creation and the pull of my Creator drew me outside into the vast warmness of the sun and slight breeze blowing through the trees. Expectantly I walked briskly to the back forty into the wide open space encapsulated by a magnificent treeline that acts as a protective shield from the noise and busyness of the city street located close by. Oh yes, a happy place to retreat for a noon time walk. Just me and my Lord, and of course the sweet sounds of the wildlife hanging out in the trees and below. Not that I truly paid much mind to them. My purpose was to be alone with God and take in his beauty.
This time with my God in his creation is precious to me. The peacefulness of nature. The sweet sounds of birds. The warmth of the sun and slight breeze through the trees. These bring a stillness to my soul that welcomes God’s promptings in my mind. Prayers for friends. Sweet memories.
With a few laps in, around the property perimeter, I sensed God telling me, “Look up. While you are watching the ground, you are missing the beauty all around and above you. The same is happening in your life. While you are absorbed in the stuff, you are missing the beauty of life all around you. And me, above you.”
Such a powerful moment for me. I didn’t realize until that moment how I had been spending my whole walk looking down at the ground and my feet. As I began to look up and all around me, I noticed the vibrant greens of the tree’s leaves, the volleyball net standing at attention, the bleacher seating empty and alone, and the pavilion full of tables. These things had been there this whole time. I noticed them. But did I really see them?
My mind went to my current life situation. I realized how I’ve been so encapsulated by the tough stuff I’ve been experiencing that I’ve been missing the beauty of so many things around me. Especially the Lord above me. Have I truly noticed these? The weeks, days, hours, minutes, seconds of time I’ve spent covered in distress. They are time and beauty that has slipped through my fingers.
*******
Recently, I spent some time with a handful of special people in my life. I was in a space where I was invited to ‘go for a walk’. I quickly tagged along not knowing where exactly we were walking to or the purpose of the walk. With my lunch in hand, I trailed along. The walk was to the back forty to set up a pool/baptismal. I announced, “I’ve not ever set up a pool before, but I can follow direction if someone tells me what to do.” I became the instructions holder and navigator of what parts are to go where. In short order with grace-filled cooperation, the pool was soon assembled and the task was finished.
What soon occurred to me is that this must be what working as a family looks like. Not that I had or have a bad family life, this was just a new experience for me. The memory is so precious to me and stirred something in my heart. I ‘looked up’ and saw a place where I belong. A place where I can look around me and see beauty. A place that points me up towards God.
This song was on my mind as I finished my walk today.
The thoughts of living simply and simply living seemed like a great break from the busyness of my life.
No more lawn to mow.
No more maintenance of a whole house.
Smaller monthly bills.
Only keeping things that seem essential.
More time to write and think.
More time to spend with God and my husband.
All these things seemed like a glorious way to live.
At first I was all in and then my gut said, “I don’t think so.” Knowing it’s wise to pay attention to a feeling in the pit of my stomach, I shared some concerns with my husband. This led to us putting the plans to sell our house and buy a camper to live in full time, on a back burner.
Months later, the topic of selling our house seemed to repeatedly crop up in our minds and conversations. We began to seriously entertain the idea of putting our house on the market, without knowing what would be next, other than the town for which God was drawing our hearts to.
We set a date to list the house.
Began to clean up the yard.
Started selling and giving away belongings we felt the need to let go of, or allow someone else to enjoy.
Thirteen days before the house went ‘live’ on the market, we made the decision to purchase a camper. After looking at campers online and in person for a couple of years, we had finally found one with a floorplan and style for us. My husband and I actually saw it online about the same time and it stopped us both dead in our tracks. We loved it!
Without physically walking through the travel trailer, we committed to buying our next home based on what we saw by touring a similar model.
Camper parked in the yard, waiting to be our movable home, we committed to sell our house. After one week of showings and four offers, we had a buyer.
*****
My organized plans were ripped apart one after another, so was my security in those plans. By this time, God had shown me some of the things I had been placing my identity and security in. This included my well laid out plans.
Through this incredibly revealing transition, I’ve come to let go of many things.
Belongings from loved ones who’ve passed.
My shelves of books.
Furnishings that filled the house.
And the thoughts that I have control over much.
As our transition to full time camper living continued to become a reality, so have the trials. One after another. Small obstacles were doable in my own strength, so I thought, until one after another they wore me down to exhaustion. Becoming weary from the journey, the small hurdles became harder to manage by the time we reached moving weekend.
Trials in this transition:
My timeline not matching my husband’s.
Late start on moving day.
Blown tire on enclosed car trailer five minutes down the road.
The power cord for the camper too short for our campsite. Note: ninety-five percent of our food was in the camper refrigerator.
Struggles to find an extension cord or parts to make one.
Miscommunication on my part for house key exchange with the new home owner.
Running out of daylight, time, and patience in getting our belongings out of the house on time.
Leveling the camper at midnight.
Cold showers after midnight.
My nesting impulse kicked in with no way to make our camper a home for two days.
Experiencing some mild depression with the large adjustment to our new lifestyle.
After seven nights of sleeping in the camper, we discovered our bed had broken and was causing flooring damage. Also, a brake and turn signal malfunction.
The brand new generator needed for the camper didn’t work.
Followed by a night with very little sleep because of low battery lights and an alarm going off.
Struggles in getting a refund for the non-working specialty generator.
Expense and hassle of a two night stay in a hotel while our camper was over an hour away at the dealership for repairs.
Upon arrival at the dealership, we found that a trim piece over the bedroom door had fallen to the floor in transit.
The first day at the hotel, I struggled with getting wifi to work for more than five minutes.
A few days after getting camper back, I dealt with stabbing chest pains and aches with tingling going down my arm. After a six hours ER stay and then a chiropractor appointment, it was found that I had a couple of ribs out of place.
WOW! That was a lot for a two week period of time!
What I want to focus on … blessings that occurred in that same two weeks.
Beautiful walks in nature.
Great time with my church family, experiencing their love and support.
Meeting a very sweet hotel clerk who I was able to bless.
Having dinner at one of our favorite restaurants and being able to bless our favorite server.
Looking back at all the friends and others we’ve been able to bless by our letting go of belongings.
God has sent reminders along the way to reinforce truths to my heart.
When I take my eyes off of Jesus, I start to sink.
Leaning on my own understanding leads to a worn out-exhausted Amy.
Seeking God and being present with him refuels my soul.
Returning to GraceStory Podcast was author and speaker Laura L. Smith. This recent episode was titled The Joy of Slowing Down. In our ‘Hustle Culture,’ slowing down seems to be elusive and dreamy. Not so. Nate and Laura discussed, not only the How To’s of learning from Jesus and establishing ‘Rhythms of Grace,’ also how to reshape our perception of time to better utilize it. Slowing down and enjoying it is within reach for everyone, whether caught up in the ‘Hustle Culture’ or not.
I was personally intrigued by the unwritten rules of ‘Hustle Culture’ Laura shared. Phrases, such as: “Can’t stop, won’t stop,” “More is more,” “Sleep is overrated,” and “Crazy busy,” seem to be the mantra for our time. While I don’t recall saying these myself, I can see how in seasons of my life, I’ve lived as though I believed them. Laura spoke of how these unwritten rules of ‘Hustle Culture’ declare, “We have to do all the things, all the time, for all the people.”
Years ago, as a young mom fresh in my faith, I was determined to be the perfect wife, the perfect mother, the perfect Jesus follower. Attempting to be all these things led me to saying yes to everything that came my way. Even if I was on the brink of exhaustion, I had to have a spotless house. My kid’s birthday parties had to be meticulously thought out, organized, and all my guests entertained. I expected myself to have meals planned out and prepared for my husband when he arrived home from work. And I wanted him to always be able to come home to a clean house, with all the dishes and laundry washed. I don’t recall saying to myself “can’t stop, won’t stop” specifically, however, my actions spoke those words loud and clear.
Now, on the other side of raising children, I can see how I was caught up in the ‘Hustle Culture’ that Laura spoke of. I recognized many of the signs she mentioned. In checking my own heart, I was doing many of the things because I felt they were expected of me. I was exhausted all the time. I was too busy, doing too many things. Yup, I was definitely caught up in ‘Hustle Culture’ before I ever heard the term.
In my younger years I knew nothing about the ‘Rhythms of Grace’ Laura referred to. As a Soul Care Coach, I now always want to know the ‘How to’s’ in making changes. Asking questions to understand more. It was no different for me as I listened to Nate and Laura’s conversation about how to create ‘Rhythms of Grace’ for anyone finding themselves caught up in this ‘Hustle Culture.’ Mentioned in the podcast was looking at the examples Jesus has given us through Scripture. His unhurried way of life, the way he always stopped for his people, and his intentional space for talking with the Father through prayer are a great step in the right direction to slow down our pace and enjoy life.
Prompt: Laura recommended looking at how we’re spending our day with an honest evaluation. What can be removed? Can something be delegated? May we take time to explore this recommendation and learn from Jesus’ example.
Fighting for hope can look differently given the context. In the latest episode of GraceStory Podcast, Master Certified Mental Health and Life Coach Sue Bowles shared several different aspects of fighting for hope. Including an emotional example of a time when she found herself fighting for hope during her parents’ divorce.
Sue defined hope as ‘daring to believe when everything humanly and intellectually is telling you otherwise.’ She further explained hope as daring to hold God to his word until he shows up. As I listened to hope explained in this way, I was taken back to July 2014 with the loss of my 22-year-old son. I clung to hope as I struggled to breathe, at times, and found myself struggling to make it through each moment. Step-by-step. Day-by-day. That’s how I moved forward.
A friend had advised Sue to watch her steps as she took each one forward. I can relate to that. Sometimes … that’s all I could do. Especially the times I was trying to work through my grief on my own. As Sue mentioned, trudging through in isolation leads to not being able to trust my own thoughts. However, when I chose to share my struggles with one or two trusted people, I made room for God to show up and walk alongside me in healing. God had blessed my family and I with multiple church and workplace families. These individuals and several hundred others that we didn’t know, prayed us through and gave us the support we didn’t even realize we were receiving. The love we received by fighting for hope in community carried me through some pretty difficult days, and continues to as there are still some times when the waves of grief threaten to overtake me.
My Toolbox:
*I’ve seen hope in the past through sharing my struggles with a trusted friend. *I declared that God would use my experience to help others because I surrendered it to him. *I have used what I’ve learned through my loss to comfort others in their moments of grief. *I’m writing a book as a way to continue my healing and help others through theirs. Acknowledge my emotions:
My heart hurts from the absence of my son.
I’m mad about what I’m missing out on with him.
What am I grateful for:
I am grateful for the 22 years I had with my son.
I am grateful for the community God placed around me.
Prompt: Build a Fighting for Hope Toolbox by integrating hope building strategies into your life. Ask yourself and maybe journal about the steps Sue shared in the podcast. 1- Identify where you’ve seen hope in the past? What’s helped in the past? 2- Where have you told God you’re expecting him to show up?
3- How can that experience apply to your current situation?
4- Build on your current situation.
Since anxiety and gratitude cannot coexist, acknowledge your emotions before God AND speak truth and statements of gratitude.
Beyond letting go of belongings. Beyond letting go of wanting to know what’s next. Beyond letting go of a known lifestyle. Beyond. Beyond. Beyond. Walking through the process of grief while in a significant life transition, is no easy task.
At this point in my husband’s and mine major life shift, I’ve repeatedly found myself journeying through different aspects of grieving. Even though many have portrayed ‘stages of grief’ as a linear progression, I’m here to testify to a different perspective. Denial. Anger. Bargaining. Depression. Acceptance. I’ve experienced each one, often all within a day, only to revisit different emotions and/or feelings again and again.
Transitioning from living in a house to setting up temporary living in a travel trailer and not knowing what’s to be our living situation beyond fall. This has often elicited in me thoughts and feelings of anger pointed in different directions, including towards my husband who first introduced this new lifestyle choice to me. Maybe even a little at God because it has been obvious to us that he’s drawing us out to make this change. Is it okay for me to be angry at God? I believe so. He is our Father and he can handle any of our emotions, thoughts, feelings, or words. He can handle anything we direct his way. I also know it’s wise for me to be ready to hear from him words of correction because that’s what a good good Father does.
This process started, I think, with feelings of denial on my part. A year ago when my hubby and I were close to making the decision to buy a camper, I retreated quickly and said no. No, it’s not the right time. And lately … lately I’ve been in denial of my own actions involved in this move; my part in buying a camper, and moving forward in this transition. It’s easy, and probably human nature, to place blame for things I’m not certain are God’s will for our lives.
Bargaining for me in this current adventure looks like prayer that includes surrender, bargaining (or begging), and tears. Again, God is a good good Father and has his ways of correcting his children as he answers prayers.
Depression. Throughout the past several weeks, I’ve wandered in and out of short bouts of depression. Grieving new layers from the losses of my son, my parents, my in-laws, and my grandparents. This led to extreme heaviness on my heart and distracted me from the joys of life. Letting go of items I have been gifted, this too has led to a heavy heart. There’s so many aspects of this transition that have led to a burdensome heart and therefore helped me to take my eyes off the goodness of God and what great things he has for my hubby and I for this next chapter.
Acceptance. Acceptance doesn’t mean I’m okay with everything that has happened or that I’m not struggling with all the things. To me, it means I can take comfort from my Holy Father. I can find solace and refuge in his presence. I can seek out trustworthy like minded friends to pray for me and remind me of all the ways God has blessed me, especially in the recent past. Acceptance is knowing and relying on our God who has it all under and within his control. It’s resting in the capable and loving embrace of a loving Father who has given so much for me.
Just let go and let God. Let go and trust God. Who hasn’t heard some variation of those directives. And who hasn’t thought to themselves or even said out loud, “But what if …?” There’s nothing easy about letting go of things we’ve held tightly to. Starting a statement with ‘just’ gives the sense of this action being easy. Just walk away. Just stand up. Just close your eyes. These directives are easy, or so they seem.
In my current situation, I’m learning more and more what it truly looks like to ‘let go.’ In April of this year, my husband and I came to the mutual decision that it is time to move again. This came after many conversations and prayer. The recurring thoughts of selling our current house and what the next stage of our lives would be, led us to believe it’s that time … again. The longest he and I have lived anywhere is five years. The home we lived in at that time was a double-wide we had set on four acres we purchased from my parents. This property was next to where I grew up. So familiar. So beautiful. So much ‘home’ to me. I even declared as our double-wide halves were being driven onto the property, “I’m finally home.” At the time I had no understanding about Heaven being my true home. I knew God, however, not in an intimate way.
After living in the double-wide for five years, God revealed it was time to move on into what he had for us next. Here we are about twenty years later, in a similar position. Only this time, we aren’t as certain as to what’s next for us in the way of living arrangements. When we moved from that beautiful homey location near my parents, we knew we were buying a house about thirty minutes away from that location. At this juncture, we know few things.
We are to live simply and simply live. All but necessities are to be let go of.
God won’t let us know what’s next until we leave what’s right now.
Our home for the summer is our new camper which will be settled nicely on a seasonal lot in the town we know we are being drawn to.
Listed last, however, it was the first thing we knew for sure. Abba is drawing my husband and I back to the town I grew up in. The town our double-wide was in.
The process of moving, this time, has been very different. Each time we’ve moved until now, we would downsize and ‘let go’ of things, however, this time is so much different because of only keeping necessities. As we cleaned and prepped the house to sell, I began to ask myself and God, “What do I truly need?” There were several items I didn’t need to ask, God whispered sweetly in my ear, “Let it go.” My third time sorting through my closet, Abba gently guided me in seeing, “it’s time to let someone else enjoy that.” This was the message with several of my favorite clothing items.
Probably the most difficult part of letting go of so many things was the time I spent going through the pictures, clothes, and belongings of my loved ones who’ve passed away. Moving through the process led me into another layer of grieving. I went through almost forty-eight hours of feeling immensely heavy-hearted. I asked Abba what was going on with me because I felt so weighed down I couldn’t even bring myself to fake a smile. He said, in his most loving way, “You are grieving many things.” This made complete sense to me. Quickly I recalled all the pictures and such I had looked through. The items I threw away and gave away and the little bit I placed into a tote to store. The memories. The emotions that went along with all those things. Not to mention the reality of grieving a complete lifestyle change. I am walking through another layer and a new layer of mourning that I’ve not experienced before.
“Oh Father, thank you for helping me to see this. Now I have some idea of how to proceed. Grieving, I’m well versed in grieving. My mom passed away nearly twenty-one years ago. We are almost to the eleventh anniversary of our son’s passing. I find God’s timing to be beyond words. Our first camper payment is due July fourth, the date our son was taken from us through a motorcycle accident. Our moving date is July eleventh, the date we said our goodbyes to Tad through his funeral. No coincidence, God-incidence. My dad and in-laws have also passed. I’m no stranger to mourning. It’s hard stuff!
Next Father shared with me that he’s preparing me for my journey ahead. It’s so beautiful to me how God cares for me. He takes time to prepare me for the big things in life. The love of God, I just cannot grasp.
Letting go.
Letting go of my expectations.
Letting go of the ‘things’ I’ve found my security in, outside of God.
Letting go of the stuff I held onto because it belonged to someone special to me.
Letting go of fears.
Letting go of my need for control of the present and the future.
For more on Prepare-Journey-Debrief-Repeat. And journal along the way. Order my book Wilderness Journey Living Journal: Taking Steps Toward God by emailing me at soulcarecoach.amy@gmail.com
[From Part 7] Dig Deep, Release the Past and the People in it, and develop A NEW PERSPECTIVE.
Isaiah 43:16, 18-19 “This is what the Lord says—
he who made a way through the sea,
a path through the mighty waters,
“Forget the former things;
do not dwell on the past.
See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness
and streams in the wasteland.”
Developing a new perspective can be easy to say and hard to do. It takes time, effort, repetition and persistence.
Jeremiah 29:11-14 (NIV) “ For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.””
God declares that He knows His plans for us. He plans that we have a hope and a future. I believe the hope our Abba Father has for us; in part, breaks through and frees us when we see how the things we tell ourselves truly impact how we think about ourselves, others, and the events in our lives.
In his book ‘A Better Way to Think: Using Positive Thoughts to Change Your Life,’ H. Norman Wright talks about the effects extreme stress and worry have on our brains and how words we tell ourselves repeatedly can actually short-circuit those effects. For instance, when we are worried we can repeat over and over “Praise God” or “Purple Fish” or “I can do this;” any affirmations will work. Wright also suggests “Don’t spend so much time thinking. Begin experiencing the world without the running commentary in your mind. Don’t take your thoughts as the gospel truth. Think of them like the clouds, drifting across the sky. At times they’re there, and then they’re gone. They have no permanence. Look at each day as a new day, disconnected from the past and future, so you can experience what God has in store for you. Pay attention to your thought life. Are your thoughts drifting, or are you choosing to focus them? Remember, you’re in charge—of your thoughts and actions. Accept the way things are right now, and look for the positive in this moment, rather than assuming positive things are only possible in the future. If your thinking begins moving toward depression, interrupt your thinking process.”
We can interrupt our thinking by choosing to WORSHIP AND PRAISE GOD.
Instead of worrying … worship and praise God.
Instead of focusing on our fears … worship and praise God. Instead of living in regret of the past … worship and praise God. He is good. He is faithful. He sees us as we truly are, a daughter of the King, that makes us HIS Princess!
For times when we struggle to find the words to worship and praise God, His Word gives us what we need.
Psalm 30:4-5 (NIV) “Sing the praises of the Lord, you his faithful people; praise his holy name. For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime; weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning”.
John 10:27-29 (NIV) “My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father’s hand.”
Romans 8:38-39 (NIV) “For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
Psalm 37:4 (NIV) “Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.”
The enemy works very hard to erect barriers in our lives to keep us from connecting fully with God and each other. He will try to keep us stewing in our fears that have been ingrained in us through our past experiences and lead us to seeing our lives and priorities through a distorted perspective.
Let’s break through these barriers and draw closer to God and each other.
Let’s ASK GOD FOR STRENGTH TO DIG DEEP AS WE SEEK TO RELEASE THE PAST (AND THOSE IN IT) AND KNOCK ON THE DOOR TO A NEW PERSPECTIVE. LET’S REJOICE IN WORSHIP & PRAISE TO THE LORD; FOR HE IS FAITHFUL.
#BreakingBarriers#Reconnection
Contact me at soulcarecoach.amy@gmail.com to discuss breaking down barriers or to place an order for my book “Wilderness Journey Living journal”. It’s a guided journal for women that leads you through eight weeks of Taking Steps Toward God through a variety of journaling styles.
[From Part 6] The extremes of counting only on God (my interpretation of his leading) or the other end of the spectrum, seeking others for leading, cuts out the balance of seeking God, seeking wise counsel, and then seeking God for further direction. This plan keeps a healthy balance in our relationship with God and others. It breaks down barriers.
Focusing on the barriers of fear, our past, our perspective, our priorities, and isolation can keep us imprisoned by them. They can seem so heavy and can lead us to feel totally defeated. Let’s not stay here in this prison cell, let’s break free and break through to the freedom and the relationships God has created us for. Through preparing for this material, I realized these barriers deal with how we internally process and view the things we experience. The antithesis of this requires a relationship with God.
To help us to remember some ways we can break through the barriers and connect with God and others, I have used the acronym D R A W.
DIG DEEP. Ask God in prayer to help you to pull back the curtain today and every day, so you can see where the devil is lurking and working. While we will experience fear in our lives, we don’t have to agree with the messages it sends. We don’t have to wallow in it. We don’t have to choose it. And we definitely don’t have to make friends with it.
In ‘Fearless-Imagine Your Life Without Fear, Max Lucado states, “Christ-followers contract malaria, bury children & battle addictions & as a result, face fears. It’s not the absence of storms that sets us apart. It’s whom we discover in the storm; an unstirred Christ.” Whatever we water, grows. If we water fear, it will grow. If we water our faith, it will grow. When our faith grows, our fears are depleted of what makes them grow.
Matthew 7:7-12 (NIV)
“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.
“Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.”
Earlier I shared with you that I have lived most of my life fearful of many things. That changed for me several years ago when I was away at one of my ministerial classes and the Holy Spirit stopped me dead in my tracks. I was on a walk and he told me ‘not another step … until you are ready to get out of the boat, and you are not able to return.’ The boat I had to get out of was the boat of Avoidance. Avoidance of fears and hiding from those things that scared me. It took a few minutes to muster up the courage to take that literal step out of the boat. It’s not always been easy to stay out of the boat, because stepping out of it meant diving into the waters of the unknown. The chaos, the monsters of the past, and the storms. I’m so thankful for my Jesus who calms storms and who has already defeated Satan. This truth has given me the strength and courage to keep going.
What holds us in our fears? We have history with our past. We have lived years and years with these things we have stored up in our minds like a treasure chest full of things we value. It’s time to RELEASE THE PAST AND THE PEOPLE IN IT.
Acts 16:26 (NIV) “Suddenly there was such a violent earthquake that the foundations of the prison were shaken. At once all the prison doors flew open, and everyone’s chains came loose.”
Galatians 5:1 (NIV) “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.”
How do we release the past and the people in it? There is not a quick ‘fix’ or an easy answer to this question, however, there are some ways we can break through and experience freedom.
I have realized, with help from Christian counselors, that I don’t have to agree with harsh or mean words spoken to me.
I can tell myself the truth spoken about me from Scripture.
I can make an intentional decision to forgive those who’ve hurt me in the past, whether it was intentional or accidental.
Forgiveness is a process. It takes months of daily choosing to forgive an offense until it no longer stirs emotion to think about it.
There are three types of forgiveness.
Exoneration. This is a complete forgiveness. A reconciliation is possible here. I have exonerated the guy that caused the accident that took my son’s life.
Forbearance. Forgiveness is granted but the offense is not forgotten as a safety measure. I have forgiven family members for ways they hurt me, however I remember them so I don’t get hurt again in the same way.
Release. This is releasing the person who hurt us and over time being able to pray for them. This doesn’t mean the offense is/was okay, it just means we are taking them off our hook and leaving judgement for God, the only just judge. I have forgiven and released my grandfather for the abusive way he treated me. I’m not accepting it was okay for him to treat me that way, I’m releasing him to be dealt with by God.
From ‘Fervent’ (Priscilla Shirer) “When galvanized with the living truth of God’s Word, fervent prayer is the bucket that can dip down into the reserves of God’s strength and pull up all the resolve you need for releasing other people from what they owe you.”
Through the cross of Jesus we have the ability to release the past, recognizing it has shaped who we are today. We can live in the present with God and give him our future. When we give God the messes of yesterday, today and tomorrow, he can turn those messes into a message that can change the world, or at least, our corner of it.
In Part 8 (Finally the last entry) Dig Deep, Release the Past and the People in it, and develop A NEW PERSPECTIVE. You will have to check out my next post to know what comes next.
#BreakingBarriers#Reconnection
Contact me at soulcarecoach.amy@gmail.com to discuss breaking down barriers or to place an order for my book “Wilderness Journey Living journal”. It’s a guided journal for women that leads you through eight weeks of Taking Steps Toward God through a variety of journaling styles.
[From Part 5] Whatever the reason for our distorted priorities, we can turn them around with our chosen priorities each new day and a reliance on Holy Spirit?
At the close of part 5, I shared that we would ‘put it all together’ in this post. I was misguided in my believing such a thing. This morning I felt a nudge to go down another related path.
Recently, during a discussion with a beautiful friend of mine, I came face-to-face with a reality. Thank you, friend! On my own strength I tend to hover in extremes. I will either entirely seek God and my own interpretation of where I believe he’s leading or I will immerse myself in whatever others say. Looking to humans to make my decisions. Extremes in most any context will lead to imbalance. While I wholeheartedly believe God is our first and most important counselor in any situation, I also know our relational God has put people in the lives of his children to be support, encouragement, and truth-tellers. We need others in our lives who seek the Lord and can speak godly advice into our ears.
God is very relational. Father, Son, and Holy Spirit make up the Trinity. This is our example of a perfect relationship. No barriers. No fears. Right priorities. Clear perspective.
This fifth and bonus barrier in relationships is isolation. Mankind was created by and for community. To be with others. Choosing not to include others in our lives, living in our own little bubble, leads to isolation … loneliness … a stahl in spiritual growth.
Personally, I have been wanting to pour out my heart to others. I want the ladies around me to choose to come together to build community. To build relationships. My heart is to be a listening ear and encouragement to my Sisters in Faith. I’ve been struggling to know how to break barriers and share my heart with those around me.
I want to be a support, an encouragement, a resource, a hug when needed, a voice of legacy to this current generation and to those in the future. Sometimes … sometimes … I just don’t know how to put that into audible words. Written word is where I can speak, edit, rethink and send a better message. In person, I can struggle with knowing what to say and how to say it in a way that portrays how I really feel.
How does this relate to isolation and a barrier to relations in becoming a deep real authentic woman of God? The extremes of counting only on God (my interpretation of his leading) or the other end of the spectrum, seeking others for leading, cuts out the balance of seeking God, seeking wise counsel, and then seeking God for further direction. This plan keeps a healthy balance in our relationship with God and others. It breaks down barriers.
May you find balance. May you seek your people who will lead you toward God.
If I can be one of those people for you, please reach out to me. My heart is burdened for you. May you know that there are other humans wandering around in this wilderness who truly care about you and your heart.
In Part 7, maybe … we’ll put it all together and look at ways to tear down these barriers to becoming a Deep Real Authentic Woman of God.
#BreakingBarriers#Reconnection
Contact me at soulcarecoach.amy@gmail.com to discuss breaking down barriers or to place an order for my new book “Wilderness Journey Living journal”. It’s a guided journal for women that leads you through eight weeks of Taking Steps Toward God through a variety of journaling styles.
Hope's Table 