A couple years ago I was having a conversation with my dad while we were driving around the countryside where he grew up; and subsequently where I grew up, and he shared with me how it bothered him that no one ever held family reunions anymore. I agreed with him and I still agree with him. I have noticed over the past thirty years how there’s been a slow fade away from all things family, including extended family reunions. Our culture’s focus has increasingly become all about the ‘ME’ and forgetting about the ‘WE’ of family. Some family units choose to ‘go off the grid’ and separate themselves from the hustle and bustle of busyness and that’s okay; I’m not judging or criticizing. Some family units choose to blend into the hurried lifestyle of going from this thing to the next and to the next thing; again, no judgement or criticism. Some balance themselves somewhere in between the two extremes. It seems to me that the majority of people tend to keep to themselves, even when it comes to those that share the same household. In an age where there are so many ways to connect and communicate, I have noticed that people connect less now than they did even twenty years ago. This seems to have happened overnight; however, it’s been happening for a very long time, it’s accelerated, yes but it has been happening over probably fifty years or more.

Our Creator God formed man in His image. He is a very relational God that is in oneness with His Son Jesus and the Holy Spirit. Our God is a God of unity, community, and connectedness. We were created in this image and when we veer from God’s original plan for us, all things go haywire and wonky. We were not created for isolation. We were not created for me kingdomship. We were not created to keep others at a distance. We were created from an image of oneness, connection, and community. When we stray away from these attributes, we encounter depression, division, discontentment, and probably many other ‘d’ words. I am not saying that I know all things and I have all the answers; this would be a big fat lie; I am on this journey of life with everyone else, I am just speaking my observations, thoughts, and concerns. Yes, I am concerned because I have young grand children that are growing up in this disconnection and chaos and I am praying for a world that’s drawing near to God’s original plan and not away from it. I believe that God allows us to see these things to be change agents for the future by using the gifts and abilities that He has bestowed upon us for ‘such a time as this.’ So… I seek my part in changing toward connection, community, and unity of the family and then make one step at a time in the right direction for my own family and pray that it will have a ripple effect. I also write about these things in hopes that others will see and understand and then be a change agent in their own sphere of influence.

What does this look like for me? I am glad you asked! After that drive with my dad that I shared at the beginning, my dad walked through the journey of passing from this earth to eternity. In the end hours of my dad’s life here on earth, my cousin, and I talked about this conversation that I had with my dad and we decided that if anyone was going to get ‘the family’ together for reunions, it’s up to our generation because our parents are getting up in years and a couple have passed already; like my dad. I believe that God has laid this burden on our hearts because He has a purpose in all of this for us. Now, I have never been one to organize family events or try to get family members together. Truth be told, growing up I never felt like I belonged in my family and have spent my adult life pretty separated from extended family because I felt that ‘they’ really weren’t interested in being in my life. That; my friends, is a lie! In organizing our first family reunion last year, I spent time talking with my cousin and got to know him better. Turns out that as we were growing up neither one of us truly knew the struggles of the other; we just believed that life was how it appeared from a distance. Since that first reunion, my husband and I have spent time with my cousin and his wife and are building a great friendship. Praise God! Not only that, but in organizing our second reunion this year, I am learning more about my extended family members that I never knew; including the names of their kids, and growing in other relationships as well. Praise God!

For years I believed it was better; and the way of life, to just do our own thing and not take the time to get to know my extended family. What a lie!!! I am so thankful to God for His opening my eyes to the blessings and purpose of being connected and in community with family; extended or otherwise. I am still learning much and have a ways to go before I will offer advice on the ‘how to’s’ but I am glad to be on this journey and thankful that I get to be a part of God’s working in returning the family to it’s proper place of importance.

NOTE: I am in no way advising anyone to stay in a household or with extended family members that are unsafe or highly toxic. I want people to have proper safety boundaries in their family relationships; where it is safe to do so, I pray for restoration of families. We also have a great God that has the ability to create the world and everything in it; so… I know that He has the ability to make all things new and restore all that is broken. Praise God! May He restore, rebuild, resurrect, refocus, redeem, and return the importance of Family, even if it means that our church family is that family for us.

#restoreFamily