Tag Archives: Jesus

Mornings with Jesus, Resurrecting Me.

Resurrection Day is coming soon. My mind is on the work Jesus did by going to the Cross. Not only that … also the work he did by taking all my sin, wounds, and yuck to the grave. And then RESURRECTION DAY! The Savior Yeshua (Hebrew) took all yuck to the grave, to Sheol (the dwelling place of the dead), and left it there. He returned with the Light of Life. Resurrection! 

Upon waking this morning, I envisioned the ‘bed of death’ Jesus would have laid on while he was in the tomb for three days. In my mind it looks like a rectangle shaped, tall slab of stone. It’s top smooth to the touch and its sides rough like coarse sandpaper. Jesus was laying there. My little-girl self asked him, “How can I be reconnected to you? How can I be connected with all of who I am?” He drew me onto the bed of death with him.

My Lord wrapped his arms around all the ages of myself as he shared that all the yuck, the sin, the wounds, the mistakes, all of it had to be attached to him so he could take it to the place of the dead to stay there for eternity. 

Scripture I was brought to during my devotional time:

The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me,

    because the Lord has anointed me

    to proclaim good news to the poor.

He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,

    to proclaim freedom for the captives

    and release from darkness for the prisoners, 

to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor

    and the day of vengeance of our God,

to comfort all who mourn,

and provide for those who grieve in Zion—

to bestow on them a crown of beauty

    instead of ashes,

the oil of joy

    instead of mourning,

and a garment of praise

    instead of a spirit of despair.

They will be called oaks of righteousness,

    a planting of the Lord

    for the display of his splendor. (Isaiah 61:1-3 NIV)

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full. (John 10:10 NIV)

Back to when I was first awake and envisioning the ‘bed of death.’ Holy Spirit lead me to think about by putting all the wounds, sins, mistakes, and yuck into Jesus’ hands, he is resurrecting me with him. He is the Light of Life. To be resurrected with Jesus is to live in the newness of his life, his light.

Our Lord Jesus has already taken the ‘dead things’ to the grave because of his grace. He is and will be resurrecting life and light in and through the people of God.

From ‘bed of death’ (tomb) to ‘Light of Life’ (ALIVE). Thank you, Jesus, for giving us new life!

Applying this to my life (or yours): Write. Put sin, wounds, mistakes, regrets on the ‘bed of death’ (aka. Invite Jesus into your pain, allow him to help you process it, and then hand it over to him.). And then live fully alive in his Light. 

#deathtolife#Jesus#alive! 

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There’s Manure?

Through a meditation, I was prompted to ask God, “Light of the World, shine your light on the corners of my soul and show me what’s there.” In my mind, I heard, “There’s manure.” My thoughts traveled to poop? There’s poop? Excrement? Remains of dead things already digested and passed through. WHAT?

Next thought … It’s time to shovel the pooh away. Allow it to be used as fertilizer for whatever God will grow. The beautiful garden he’s planned for, in my soul.

This is a truly interesting train of thought. At first it seems pretty bizarre, that is until I dove in deeper to the significance of manure.

“Then he told this parable: “A man had a fig tree growing in his vineyard, and he went to look for fruit on it but did not find any. So he said to the man who took care of the vineyard, ‘For three years now I’ve been coming to look for fruit on this fig tree and haven’t found any. Cut it down! Why should it use up the soil?’ “‘Sir,’ the man replied, ‘leave it alone for one more year, and I’ll dig around it and fertilize it. If it bears fruit next year, fine! If not, then cut it down.’” (Luke 13:6-9 NIV)

Jesus shared this parable about the gardener’s plea for the property owner to give the fig tree one more growth year to produce fruit. In return, the gardener would nurture the tree. Fertilize it. Care for it. According to commentary notes I read in my study Bible, it actually takes four to five years for fig trees to bear fruit. The property owner only wanted to give the tree three years. The gardener would have known more about the needs of the growing tree. The mention of fertilizing the tree indicates that the man who tended to the crops would do everything he could to save the tree. To give it a chance to produce the desired fruit. The vineyard owner was impatient. The gardener was gracious and patient.

I’m working out what this passage has to do with me having manure in my soul. The remains of digested dead things.

This thought train leads me to a guided prayer I took part in later, in the same day as the earlier mentioned meditation. In this visualization, I was standing in my backyard with an ax in my right hand. It was hanging down by my side. The anger bubbling up in my gut wanted to come out through the swinging of the ax into the large log of wood resting on the ground in front of me. I could sense Abba Father, Jesus, and Holy Spirit standing with me encircling the log. As prompted, I asked Jesus what he wanted me to do. “Hand me the ax,” was his reply. I complied with his request. I could see the mound of wood to be split that lay in the distance.

As I stand there, Jesus surrounds me with his presence and wraps his arms around mine cupping his hands over mine. He put the ax back in my hands, only this time his hands were securely around mine. He lovingly said, “You’ve been trying to do all this on your own. I’ve given you this tool and you’re not using it. We are going to cut the wood together.” 

Where do these story elements take you? Other than frustrated because I didn’t put it all together for you. I would love to read about your own thoughts. Please share them. 

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The Mirror was Cloudy

 As I entered my room, I saw the bathroom mirror was slightly cloudy.

I’m struggling to admit and recognize where I am. I’m struggling to accept that, even though I ‘know’ Truth, those words could be said by God, or anyone else, to me. I know the ugliness inside of me. I feel like I don’t deserve God’s love and forgiveness even though I know we all fall short. I feel closed off. I feel like an imposter.

To trust … I have to let my guard down.

I want to be seen and known and at the same time, I want to hide. I want to be seen and known by Jesus. Shame over past decisions of my own and others made for me, make me want to hide.

The mirror is more cloudy.

I keep holding onto my sin as a badge, allowing the enemy to keep a grip on me. UGH!

“Open, shut them, open, shut them,” this childhood song plays in my mind as I see the pattern of my own making. I start to open up to what God is saying to me, and just that quickly, I shut down. I start to open up again and soon the vault door closes … again. 

My habits have muscle memory. 

I couldn’t sing ‘Run to the Father’ because I felt that I didn’t deserve to run to the Father and be comforted by him.

God is always healing. I want to accept his healing. Jesus goes out of his way to meet with me. Jesus does not condemn me. He is so kind.

The mirror is more cloudy. 

I need to realize where I am. The enemy comes to steal, kill, and destroy. Jesus came so that I may have a full life.

In prayer, I see myself on a bluff with the Holy Spirit. He’s tall, strong, loving, and comforting. He gave me the name Domicile. I am a dwelling place, a home. He embraces me with his strong arms and I lean into his chest. 

I see many trees with beautifully colored Autumn leaves. A canopy of beauty. 

God is inviting me to come out of hiding. 

The mirror is cloudy because I haven’t been seeing myself clearly. 

A realization that I’m in a battle over my beauty. 

A false belief my whole life that I can’t be beautiful. I’m forced to search for the reasons why I have believed this.

~ As a little girl, I was constantly called a boy no matter how I was dressed or how long my hair was. Conclusion: Boys can’t be beautiful.

~ Comparing myself to others. If they are the standard for beauty, I can’t be beautiful because I don’t look like them.

~ I’ve sinned. I’ve made wrong choices. I’ve thought ugly thoughts. Conclusion: I can’t be beautiful. I can’t look at God or others in the eye because of my ugly sin.

~ The belief that I will never measure up to _____ so I can’t be beautiful.

“Please Lord Jesus, help me to see myself as your bride.”

“My Beloved, will you be my bride?”

“Yes, I will.”

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DANCING WITH JESUS

As a little girl I dreamed of being a dancer. In my dreams, I danced beautifully all around the room. My elegant flowing gown sweeping across the floor like I was floating on air; being glided gracefully by my strong dance partner. We moved as one with grace and poise as though it was effortless. My dance partner and I were alone in the large beautiful space; there was a great glow streaming in through the windows, as though the radiance of God flooded the space. I wanted to stay in this space forever! Such peace. Such grace. Such love and acceptance. No fear. No shame. No hurt.

I am much older now and I still long for this sweet scene. To be dressed in the most beautiful ball gown with my King placing His crown on my head; He takes my hands in His and He glides me around the most beautiful ballroom, His radiance is filling the space. My King takes my hands in His and He glides us around the room in the most elegant dance I have ever seen. My dance with my King Jesus.

God is the creator of all things; an artist beyond our every imagination. He created the movements of dance; the messages of dance. There are so many messages in the art of dance. The artistry of the movements, the emotion of the dance, the connection of the partners; there can be no walls around either partner or the fluidity of the movements are disrupted and disastrous. When dancing with a partner, there cannot be a distance between the partners; either physically or connectively, or the message of the dance will change.

Another thought.

As an adult, I have considered ‘dancing with Jesus’ to be what a Christ follower will get to do once they arrive in Heaven after passing from this earth. I have had a change of mind; I still believe that Christ followers will get to dance with Jesus in Heaven; however, God has shown me that dancing with Jesus is also something that we can do here on earth when we remove the barriers standing between us and Jesus. When we are carrying shame, quilt, fear, wounds, etc., we aren’t able to see Jesus inviting us to dance with Him. These heavy bags also leave us unable to embrace Jesus fully or even get close enough to Him to move around the dancefloor.

So now what?

Every person’s dance looks different. Every person’s journey towards Jesus is different. The fact that is the same for all is that the heavy bags need to be left at the feet of Jesus so that we can take His hands and glide across His dancefloor surrounded by His radiance. Is this an easy task? No, but Jesus will help all along the way. Is it a one and done deal? No, but Jesus will be with you all along the way. Do I have to do this alone? No, you have Jesus and your people.

My dance with Jesus. Through the years, I have always loved to dance; some years the messages from my dancing were ‘different,’ but at this point in my life I see dance as a sign of healing from stuff of the past (Ecclesiastes 3:4; Jeremiah 31:13) and that my dream dance with my King Jesus seems a little more real. My current dance with Jesus looks like worship music in my ears, hands raised in worship, and some swaying back and forth. So if you see me in church during worship and you see my hands raised and body swaying, just know that I am enjoying a sweet dance with my King Jesus because He’s invited me to join Him (Psalm 149:3).

May you spend much time dancing with Jesus; every time He invites you to join Him!

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