Messages come to us in a plethora of ways. Through my years, I have received messages through conversations with others, the music I listen to, reading my Bible and other books, through social media, interactions with strangers, and through events. There’s possibly other avenues where I have received messages, but I am sure that you get the point. I receive messages of all kinds through so many avenues; I am sure you can relate. The messages that I have received have contained some truths, some lies, some niceties’, some wounds, and probably many other things. In turn, I could probably; with accuracy, admit that I have delivered my own mixture of these messages to others around me.

MESSAGE: For anyone in my life that I have relayed a message to you that is anything but good, encouraging, or uplifting, please accept my sincerest apologies! From my heart to yours, I am so sorry!

Messages can come through words; but also through body language, gestures, and the emotions that we radiate from our presence. As human beings, we don’t always realize that how we are thinking and feeling on the inside can radiate out from us to those around us. I have learned that this is involved in our ’emotional intelligence’ and it sends some pretty intense; and at times, harmful or confusing messages to those around us; especially if these messages don’t line up with the words coming out of our mouths.

For more on emotional intelligence see this website: https://www.focusonthefamily.ca/content/how-to-become-emotionally-intelligent

For more on body language see The Science of People website at: https://www.scienceofpeople.com/

Many times in my life I have encountered situations where an individual that I was talking to said to me, “Why are you looking at me like that?” Or, I have heard some time later that a look on my face told someone that I was mad at them or something negative that made them feel badly. Has this ever happened to you? For me, I can attribute these ‘faces’ to my thoughts being on at least two different things; one being the person I was talking to and that situation; and then also something else that may be a concern, which would explain a not-so-friendly look on my face. I am learning that the remedy to this is probably more active listening and less thought multi-tasking. By me being fully engaged in my current conversation, and taking part in some active listening practices, my hope is that my face will portray a look of being fully present with the person that I am talking with. How does this relate to ‘messages?’ I am so glad that you asked! The messages that I am sending to the person that I am talking with; when I am fully present, is that they are valuable, loved, heard, respected, etc.; these messages are the ones that I truly want to send to others and the messages that I truly want to receive for myself. Do you know what messages you are sending/giving to those around you? Have you considered this question?

Even the kiddos in our lives receive messages from us. They receive messages by how often they are competing with technology for our undivided attention; by how often we not only say ‘I love you,’ but also how often we show them ‘I love you’ through playing with them, tickling them, playing games with them, etc. These messages come through loud and clear for kiddos, even though they can’t articulate it for themselves. Just look at how little ones gravitate to remotes, cell phones, computers; they are imitating what they see and at the same time, they are starving for the affection that they aren’t getting because we are too ‘busy’ retreating into our technology for our ‘me time.’ What messages are we sending to the next generation that will become evident in the generations to come as they raise their own kids?

This blog post may seem a little all over the place; however, I assure you there is a common theme running through it and that’s the messages that we give to and receive from others.

A couple of weeks ago I was watching my grand littles who are three years old and one and a half years old. While I was watching them, I became; not only very tired, but also quite agitated because I had to keep repeating the same thing and they continued to not do as I said. I got to the point where I lost my cool and had to walk away because I thought I was going to implode. Have you ever been there? I learned many years ago; while raising my own kids, that when you get to the point that you are about to ‘lash out irrationally,’ it’s best to walk away and count to ten or whatever it takes to calm down and think clearly. In this moment for me, God reminded me of their ages and that they are just babies. Some time later, He also brought to mind a great message for me to remember; and that was that I am so glad that He Himself doesn’t lose His cool with me when He has to correct me over and over again because I am just not getting the message or point that He’s making for me. WOW! That was a great wake up call for me. Now I am doing better with my patience and understanding; not to mention a little more humble as I remember that my Heavenly Father has to correct me often as well, and probably repeatedly for the same issue.

There’s so much more that can be said about the messages that we receive and I could go off on a rant because I do get really frustrated with the twisted messages that get sent to people through so many sources; however, I truly want to focus on what I (and you) can do to be aware of the many messages that we are sending to those that we come into contact with; especially young people, because they are our future and the future. Maybe I get focused on this because of messages that I received myself as a little person; but for whatever the reason, God has laid it on my heart to share the importance of being aware of the messages that I (and we) are sending to others, especially the next generations.

P.S. I also want to point out the messages that we send to our spouses. This is not listed last because it is the least important. After our relationship with God, our relationship with our spouse is to be the most important of our priorities. You could say that I saved the second best for last. This is a gut check for me as well! What messages are we sending to our spouses? The enemy wants us to hide from our spouse. He tells us all kinds of lies to make us believe that it’s best to keep things from our spouse; that we deserve better; that we need to focus on ourselves, and the list goes on and on. God says that He wants our hearts and He wants us to be faithful to our spouses; doesn’t being faithful require honesty and transparency. In the garden of Eden, Adam and Eve were naked and not ashamed until sin entered in. Hiding from our spouse came after sin. My desire is to send a strong message; one that stomps on the head of satan, and glorifies God; a message of love, openness, honesty, and transparency in all marriages everywhere.

#messageofgraceandlove