The life of a dragonfly begins as an egg laid underwater and it remains under water for the majority of it’s life. It is only after two to five years of toughing it out in the water that a larvae emerges into the sunlight, breaking out of its exoskeleton and transforms into the beautiful flying creature that has become a symbol of transformation and resilience.

A dragonfly’s life can be looked at in stages; the first stage being the egg, the second stage being the larvae, and the third stage being the dragonfly with wings to fly. Many people look at grief and sorrow in the same way. The experts have shared that there are stages of grief and how we need to move through each stage so that we can get to the ‘sunlight’ and be somehow on the other side of grief. Unlike the life stages of a dragonfly, the ‘stages of grief’ are not linear and those experiencing them may not experience everyone of them or experience them just once. It is possible to experience several of the stages in one day, only to experience all the same in the next day. What is similar with grief and sorrow to the stages of life of the dragonfly is that when we are strong enough to climb out of the proverbial water and break out of our grieving exoskeleton, we can grow our soaring wings and fly in the life that God created us for with the strength that He has created in us through the under water experience of grief.

During our times of underwater grief, we can be in a big hurry to get out of the water and make it to the sunlight; however, to rush to the sunlight we miss out on the strength that can be gained by living in the depths of the pain and sorrow of grief. Please hear my heart, I am not saying that we need to stay in the depths and just live there; I am saying that we need to swim toward the pain of the loss and allow God to grow us through it. In His infinite wisdom, God will give us the strength to grow in and through this pain and sorrow and then equip us to emerge from the water with the strength to soar in the life that He created us to live.

In our hurried and rushed life, we think that we need to get from here to there quickly; in reality, we sometimes just need to ‘be.’ Be in the moment. Be in the pain. Be in the sorrow. And know that God will be with us through it all.

Jeremiah 17:7-8 NIV

⁷ “But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord,
    whose confidence is in him.
⁸ They will be like a tree planted by the water
    that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes;
    its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought
    and never fails to bear fruit.”

As we are strengthened and ready to emerge from the deep waters of pain and sorrow, what awaits us is a life where we can break out of the grief and grow our wings to soar in the strength that we have gained through our season in the water. The tree mention in Jeremiah 17:8 got it’s strength from weathering many storms through many seasons. It does not fear because it has experienced life and grown through it. We can trust God and put our confidence in Him because our growth and strength; not only comes from Him, but with Him.

NOTE: If you are journeying through grief, I highly recommend reading “A Grace Disguised: how the soul grows through loss” by Jerry Sittzer.