Tag Archives: distractions

Grief in Transition

     Beyond letting go of belongings. Beyond letting go of wanting to know what’s next. Beyond letting go of a known lifestyle. Beyond. Beyond. Beyond. Walking through the process of grief while in a significant life transition, is no easy task. 

     At this point in my husband’s and mine major life shift, I’ve repeatedly found myself journeying through different aspects of grieving. Even though many have portrayed ‘stages of grief’ as a linear progression, I’m here to testify to a different perspective. Denial. Anger. Bargaining. Depression. Acceptance. I’ve experienced each one, often all within a day, only to revisit different emotions and/or feelings again and again. 

     Transitioning from living in a house to setting up temporary living in a travel trailer and not knowing what’s to be our living situation beyond fall. This has often elicited in me thoughts and feelings of anger pointed in different directions, including towards my husband who first introduced this new lifestyle choice to me. Maybe even a little at God because it has been obvious to us that he’s drawing us out to make this change. Is it okay for me to be angry at God? I believe so. He is our Father and he can handle any of our emotions, thoughts, feelings, or words. He can handle anything we direct his way. I also know it’s wise for me to be ready to hear from him words of correction because that’s what a good good Father does.

     This process started, I think, with feelings of denial on my part. A year ago when my hubby and I were close to making the decision to buy a camper, I retreated quickly and said no. No, it’s not the right time. And lately … lately I’ve been in denial of my own actions involved in this move; my part in buying a camper, and moving forward in this transition. It’s easy, and probably human nature, to place blame for things I’m not certain are God’s will for our lives. 

     Bargaining for me in this current adventure looks like prayer that includes surrender, bargaining (or begging), and tears. Again, God is a good good Father and has his ways of correcting his children as he answers prayers.

     Depression. Throughout the past several weeks, I’ve wandered in and out of short bouts of depression. Grieving new layers from the losses of my son, my parents, my in-laws, and my grandparents. This led to extreme heaviness on my heart and distracted me from the joys of life. Letting go of items I have been gifted, this too has led to a heavy heart. There’s so many aspects of this transition that have led to a burdensome heart and therefore helped me to take my eyes off the goodness of God and what great things he has for my hubby and I for this next chapter.

     Acceptance. Acceptance doesn’t mean I’m okay with everything that has happened or that I’m not struggling with all the things. To me, it means I can take comfort from my Holy Father. I can find solace and refuge in his presence. I can seek out trustworthy like minded friends to pray for me and remind me of all the ways God has blessed me, especially in the recent past. Acceptance is knowing and relying on our God who has it all under and within his control. It’s resting in the capable and loving embrace of a loving Father who has given so much for me.

For more information on the Stages of Grief: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Five_stages_of_grief#:~:text=According%20to%20the%20model%20of,against%20using%20it%20too%20literally.

If you are interested in working through your own grief and/or loss, please contact me at: soulcarecoach.amy@gmail.com

To order my newest book Wilderness Journey Living Journal: Taking Steps Toward God, please email me at soulcarecoach.amy@gmail.com

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Fresh Connection

My anticipation had been building for the day I set aside to spend with God. I had nothing planned. No agenda. No schedule. No priority except being completely present with God. The day finally arrived. What would the day be like, I wondered. In the past, my times alone with God had consisted of long walks, sitting out on the patio, or sitting at my desk with a pen in hand or fingers on my keyboard.

This day seemed different from the start. My times alone with God were usually when my feet were the only ones to be wandering through the house. This time, my grandson’s feet joined me. The challenge of this go-round was how. How do I spend alone time with God while also spending time with my teenage grandson. Which I had not spent much time with in recent months. So my question was posed to God. “How do I do this, Lord? I want so desperately to truly be in your presence. I want to connect with you in a fresh way. I just don’t know how to do that with someone else in the house. I want to put you first God. I also want to spend time with my grandson and show him love. I wish to show him how to carve out time for God above all else. Father, I just don’t know how to do this. Please help me.”

I started the day by being honest with my grandson about my desire to be with God and the importance of it. How I need to put God first. And how I truly wanted to be with him as well. Thankfully; as a teenager, he can entertain himself for long periods of time. I still struggled; feeling that if I were focused solely on God, I was abandoning my loved one. And when I focused on my grandson, I felt that I was being disobedient to God.

What increased my struggle was the early return home of my husband. Now there were two loved ones I felt a need to focus on and my desire to connect with God. My soul cried out in my chest. Why can’t I figure this out? Why is it so hard to spend time with God? And why can’t I just speak what I need? They will understand. I knew one problem was that I don’t want to let anyone down or be selfish in putting my desire ahead of those I love.

My day was anything but what I expected. I was able to read through a few of my studies and spend some time in prayer. In the midst of my reading, I had multiple text messages and phone calls and visits from a wonderful teenager. My focus was low, my anxiety high, and my frustration mounting. I desperately wanted a fresh connection with God. Why is this so hard? This thought became my constant companion throughout the whole day.

Later in the day, I contemplated what I was going to share for a Bible Study message I was going to give the following day. God led me to John 15:1-17 (NIV) “ “I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. 2 He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. 3 You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. 4 Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.

5 “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. 6 If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. 7 If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. 8 This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.

9 “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. 10 If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. 11 I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. 12 My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. 13 Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. 14 You are my friends if you do what I command. 15 I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. 16 You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you. 17 This is my command: Love each other.”

Thinking over this passage and what I was going to share about it led me to a special realization. God had answered my prayer of wanting a fresh connection with him. Studying the John 15 passage brought out how in this current age, with all the distractions and responsibilities we each have, it takes extra effort to stay connected to God. Jesus is the vine and we are the branches. Our nourishment comes through abiding in our Messiah. For our souls to be fed, we have to do the work of purposefully grabbing hold of our Lord. In the midst of the busyness, the distractions, the people we are to show love, it requires a determination to focus our attention on our relationship with God.

I know that there is so much more to this passage and the message Holy Spirit is speaking to me through it; however, I think this is enough for now. Let’s not make things any more complicated than they already are. I like to take things one or two steps at a time, not leap over small buildings with a single bound. Superwoman I am not; human Amy, I am.

In the busyness of your life, purposefully take time for Abba; the one who created you. If your running on empty and feel depleted, maybe it’s because your lifeline to God has been pinched off or disconnected. Seek God and ask him for a fresh connection to him. He likes to hear from his children. May you be blessed! I am praying for you!

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One Thing Needed

 So, how can we clearly See God? 

Luke chapter 10 verses 41-42 “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” Jesus helps us to know that to see God more clearly we need to sit at His feet. 

-Jesus shared with Martha that Mary had made the right choice in sitting at His feet. In His loving correction of Martha, we learn from Jesus that cultural norms aren’t the same as God’s. 

-Matthew 6:33 NIV  “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” Again, Jesus helps us to know that to see God more clearly we need to seek Him first above all the distractions.

-Let’s be real, there’s a lot to deal with in life, right? We have bills, groceries, family, work, and the list goes on. With all there is to take care of, it’s easy to get distracted. Just like Martha who was tending to things that were truly needed and in so doing missed out on the best of all… sitting at the feet of Jesus. 

A couple of weeks ago God provided me with a story to illustrate this very point.

After a taxing weekend, I felt drawn to take my Monday to be with Jesus. There had been so many days with many tasks to complete and my mind was just done. 

My day started with grocery shopping; not really a restful errand but it needed to be done nonetheless. Following shopping and then a quick bite of lunch, I gave into my urge to go for a nice long walk. The sun was shining. It was a little chilly, nothing a hat and gloves couldn’t take care of. Not far down the road, I said, “Jesus, I really wish You were walking beside me in the flesh so I could see You with my own eyes and hear from You with my own ears. I really just want to be with You in person.”

I continued walking, not really thinking of anything, just enjoying nature and the sunshine. My stride was pretty laid back, more like a stroll. After reaching my usual turn around spot, I crossed the road and began walking back toward home. I came to a side road that I had never walked down before but I sensed a strong nudge to do so that day. Wanting to be obedient to Holy Spirit’s nudge, I ventured down the new path for a short distance. Feeling a release to do so, I turned around to resume my trek toward home. Before reaching the end of the side road, I sensed God whispering to me, “I want you to go down a new road, to try something new.”

 “Oh, okay God,” I replied. I continued walking as I listened for more from Holy Spirit.

The road I was traveling on is a gravel backroad with little traffic. I came to a curve and sensed a strong need to stop and then turned to my left where I saw many leaf bare trees. I had never really stopped to pay any attention to what was beyond the road in that area. This made me curious as to why I was to look at it then. Suddenly, I realized with all the tree’s branches bare, I could see through them and see clearly what was beyond them. A thought crossed my mind that in this season of winter, the leaves were gone and I could see things I couldn’t see before.

“Wow, God, that’s interesting,” I heard myself say out loud.

I continued walking at my leisurely pace and came to another spot where I sensed God stopping me to observe. In this spot, I again could see through the trees. Only here, beyond the trees I could see a river and on the other side of the river, a white house. Again, during the warmer months I can’t see the river or the white house through the trees full of leaves. So as I continued towards home, many thoughts occurred to me. 

-The leaves on the trees represented the distractions of life, the good and the bad. 

-I need the winter/lacking seasons where the distractions are removed to enable me to see clearly the things I can’t see during the warm/busy seasons.

-Sometimes God will remove the distractions so I can truly see Him more clearly. 

-I had to leave my house to see these things. My vantage point had to change for me to see clearly what God wanted to show me. 

-Even though I couldn’t have Jesus in the flesh on my walk and hear His audible voice, I was still able to receive a strong message from the Lord that left me feeling the Truth of His presence with me.

Seeking God’s presence helps us to see Him more clearly.

Is there something distracting you?

We can find ourselves distracted by our to-do list, and even start to believe our identity is wrapped up in that list. Please hear me, I’m not saying we have to throw away the crazy list. I’m saying that when we find ourselves seeking our identity through what we do for our family, or even for God, we can’t see the Father clearly. If we can’t see God clearly, it’s near impossible to see ourselves clearly because we are created in His image.

#soulcarecoach

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