Do-over

Several months ago I had a drive to change the backsplash in my kitchen. I paint color on the spaces between the cupboards and the counter; and between the rangehood and the stovetop, was a color I liked. However, the paint was unwashable and it contributed to the dark feel in the kitchen/dining area of my house. I have one whole wall without windows, and this is the wall occupied by my cupboards, sink, and stove. Even the mirror on the wall to reflect the light coming in from the windows on the opposite wall, seems deficient in casting more light in the space. These details; and the fact I am home much, led me to dream of other options.

With a limited redo budget, I decided to purchase some peel and stick tiles for the mentioned space. In measuring the target area; in my non-exact manner, I guesstimated needing approximately three boxes of tiles. This was great! The cost of these tiles added up to be under $50.00. That was a far cry less than the over $300.00 it would have cost to purchase the pretty subway tiles that I truly had my eye on. Now, a good friend of mine warned me that those peel and stick tiles were horrible and fell down more than they stuck to the wall. Even with that warning, I was sure that this would be the exception to the rule.

After purchasing the guesstimated three boxes of tiles, I got to work getting them on the wall. I had some of the tiles on the wall when I realized because I picked out a patterned tile, I would not have enough to complete the project. Off to the store I went for a few more boxes. Thankfully my husband helped me with the difficult tasks; like precise measurements, and I was able to complete this ‘do-it-yourself’ project. It wasn’t perfect; however, I liked it because it brightened up the space so much and it was much prettier than the sage green paint color. Don’t get me wrong, I really like the wall color. I was just tired of staring at it while I did dishes instead of being able to look out a window or at a pretty wall pattern. The grease spattered on the walls that I couldn’t wash off didn’t help either.

When I picked out and purchased the peel and stick tiles, I figured since they were for floors and would need to be pretty durable for foot traffic, they would be more than safe for the walls. I was beyond disappointed when the first time we turned on the oven, several of the tiles above the stove fell to the floor behind it. My wonderful rescuing husband moved the stove and retrieved the rebellious tiles. He proceeded to head out to his garage to grab some industrial spray adhesive which he used to spray on the backs of the fallen tiles and press them back onto the wall. This began our need to always run our exhaust fan whenever we use the oven or stovetop. Not to mention the constant chore of repressing the several other rebellious tiles to the wall.

I currently have about half of the tiles that several times a day need to be pushed back onto the wall as they oh so slightly push away from it. Frustrating! Yes, it is. Why do I share this? I’m glad you asked.

First, when a friend that does home renovations advises against using a certain product, my advice is to listen to them because they know what they are talking about. They can save you much money, time, and frustration.

Second, this morning as I was seeking God for what His to-do list looked like for me today, I began to consider what I am going to do about my falling peel and stick tile wall. I really like the look of the patterned tiles; however, I am done with the constant work it takes to keep them on the wall. To keep my ‘less expensive’ option on the wall, I will need several cans of spray adhesive with no guarantee that it will work any better. My decision… I have some paint in my storage room that will find it’s way on the wall. Paint; mind you, that was available when I installed the tiles. Painting the walls with this already owned product would have been a free; therefore even cheaper, option to begin with. Lesson learned, I think.

In my consideration of starting the painting task today, I felt more led to write. Off to my desk I went to consider what to write about. I have a couple projects I am working on. It quickly occurred to me how applicable to life this peel and stick wall issue is to real life. Here are a few things that have occurred to me; I would love to hear from you if you have any you would like to add to the list.

  1. Advice from a knowledgeable trusted friend is a good thing to take under advisement.
  2. Pride and/or belief that ‘it’ will be different for me can come before disappointment.
  3. It’s never too late for a redo. NOTE: I really like this one!
  4. My big idea or plan could take more time or resources than an already existing option. NOTE: I really like this one, too.
  5. Being content with what I have is a good thing.

Life is full of lessons. And stories. Make sure that you are sharing yours with those around you, it can make a difference to the lives of many that you may never meet.

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THE MESSY MIDDLE

“Some time later, Jesus went up to Jerusalem for one of the Jewish festivals.  Now there is in Jerusalem near the Sheep Gate a pool, which in Aramaic is called Bethesda and which is surrounded by five covered colonnades.  Here a great number of disabled people used to lie—the blind, the lame, the paralyzed.  One who was there had been an invalid for thirty-eight years.  When Jesus saw him lying there and learned that he had been in this condition for a long time, he asked him, “Do you want to get well?”

 “Sir,” the invalid replied, “I have no one to help me into the pool when the water is stirred. While I am trying to get in, someone else goes down ahead of me.”

Then Jesus said to him, “Get up! Pick up your mat and walk.”  At once the man was cured; he picked up his mat and walked.” (John 5:1-9 NIV)

[Warning: This post is a real and raw post meant to help others with truths that I am learning on my own journey.]

As I prayed, Holy Spirit brought to mind the paralytic that had been unable to walk for 38 years, until Jesus went to see him at the Pool of Bethesda. Jesus asked the man if he wanted to get well and the man gave Jesus excuses as to why he wasn’t healed. These excuses were all based on how others have not helped him or got in his way of being healed.

It occurred to me that I am that human being. I have blamed others for my not ‘getting well’ and becoming ‘holy confident.’ I have tried many manmade antidotes to be ‘healed;’ to no avail. I have sought God, but not trusted Him for His outcome; I have been seeking my own outcome. Maybe it’s in this ‘messy middle;’ with my struggling insecurity, that I am to relate to others. I have always believed that I have to be ‘on the other side of’ insecurity and the other things, in order to truly be used by God; however, that’s a lie because God can use me no matter what stage of spiritual growth I am in. This messy middle ground is where I am the closest to God and so I think I will just ‘be here’ until He moves me elsewhere; or He chooses to heal me of this current stuff. Whichever it is, I will trust God for the outcome.

In considering what the Pool of Bethesda can represent, this is what came to mind:

Seeking others’ approval for worth/value

Pretending to be someone I am not

Intellectualizing things to make it seem like I know more than others or because I want to lean on my own understanding, instead of God

Endless learning without application

Asking God to ‘heal’ me or to speak to me but then not listen for the answer

Building walls around my heart to keep others at a distance

Rejecting others before they have a chance to reject me

Just sitting in limbo and not stepping out in faith; not trusting God for the outcomes

Avoidance of the difficult stuff

My prayer is that in my transparency, you will find a nugget of truth that will be helpful for you. God gives us our testimonies not to keep them to ourselves, but to be a beacon of light and hope to others. May God’s light shine on your own path and illuminate; not only your path, but the paths of those around you!

#healing

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