Tag Archives: Calling

THOUGHTS ON WAITING

Have you ever spent so much time thinking about, praying about, stewing about, talking about, journaling about, and pondering about something that you end up not doing anything; you basically just sit and stare at a cold dead fire because you aren’t moving in any direction? This has been me for the past five plus months! I desire so much to make sure that I move in the so-called ‘right’ direction that I am not really moving in any direction. I have prayed for God to help me to see where my next step is and I thoroughly believe that He’s actually repeatedly came right out and told me what my next step is; however, because I have a tendency to doubt that I could possibly be understanding Him correctly, I started to take a step in that direction, only to retrack my step because I thought that I couldn’t possibly be any good at doing what I sensed Him leading me towards. I mean, I believe that my fear of failure has taken over and pulled my forward step backward a step; or ten. My doubts have led to me being a sitting duck on opening duck hunting day and the duck hunter has distracted me from what I truly know that I need to do, to get out of the swamp with my life. Distractions. Over-thinking. Not trusting my instincts. In some cases, waiting is the ‘right’ thing to do; like waiting on God, instead of flying off into the air into the line of fire and hoping that God will surround me and be my bullet-proof surroundings. In some cases, it’s vital that I wait on God’s next move and then the flight path will be drawn out and my protection secure.

I feel that I may be being too vague in my sharing. About five and a half months ago I had a change in my employment status and found myself praying about what my next step would be for employment; I began to ask God and myself questions like: What area do I explore for a position or job? Do I look for another job or do I take some time to seek God’s will and direction? Do I forget about what I have been doing and seek another avenue altogether, for work? And most of all, God what do I do now??? Over the course of a couple of months, I continued to seek God for direction and next steps, I applied for several jobs, had a few interviews, worked one week at a job, and for the past few months I have been watching my grand Littles three to four days a work for their mama to be able to work and not have a huge child care expense. What I haven’t mentioned yet, is that for the past probably five months, every time I ask God what He wants me to focus on or do; He very promptly tells me to write; or specifically, to write for healing or wellness. I started to make ‘my’ plans of how this would work and found myself with several distractions; some of which I caved to and I really haven’t been working towards writing much at all. It is very easy for me to spend a lot of time doing good things and not necessarily the ‘best’ thing that God may be directing me to.

Recently, I have felt convicted over not being obedient to God’s promptings to write and I now am seriously pursuing His plans instead of my own. Is this easy? Absolutely not! The distractions continue to come my way. The doubts continue to surface in my mind. The obstacles continue; and actually, seem to be larger than before.

Sometimes, waiting is good; when the waiting is for God to say it’s time to … . However, waiting is not good when it’s actually stalling in moving forward with God’s Will or more extreme; when the waiting is in open defiance of what God is leading His child to do. Over the years, I have learned that God will allow us to stay in a ‘waiting’ space (holding pattern) for a season because He is trying to strengthen us for what He has next for us. Through patience; and even trials in these seasons, we grow closer to God, learn more about His character and ourselves, and grow in our spiritual journey towards God. These waiting seasons can be an amazing time of learning, worship, and quiet time with our Heavenly Father; how great these times can be! But also, these seasons can be excruciatingly painful! The pain can come from not knowing what’s next; it can also come from the trials and testing that can come during these times. In these times, the greatest thing to me is knowing that I am not alone in my journey because I know from Scripture that God is so close to me that He is aware of my every thought, breath, and fear.

My personal life journey has has included several ‘waiting’ seasons that were full of tests and trials. While I have struggled more than once through these seasons, I have continually grown in so many ways because of them and I have taken comfort in knowing that my Abba Father is as close to me as He can possibly be, so I never have to walk the journey alone or be a ‘sitting duck’ out in the swamp wondering if I will make it out with my life. My life is not my own, it’s God’s and wherever this next step takes me will be taken by someone stronger than she was in the last step.

I was just reading about the calling of the prophet Elisha (1 Kings 19:19-21) and he is an example of someone so focused on being obedient to God’s Will for his next step that when the prophet Elijah threw his own cloak over the shoulders of Elisha; which signaled a transfer of power from Elijah to Elisha, Elisha immediately responded. When Elijah approached Elisha, he was plowing in the field with his 12 pair of oxen. Once Elijah threw his cloak over Elisha shoulders, the newly called prophet slaughtered his oxen, burned the equipment to cook the meat, gave the meat to the people, and off he went to be the attendant of Elijah. Elisha didn’t wait, he responded right away. I want to be a child of my Abba who does that! I am striving towards that!

The journey ahead begins with one step forward; no waiting, unless it’s waiting on God!

#waitingonGodornotatall

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OUT OF FEAR…QUESTIONS & EXCUSES

3 Now Moses was tending the flock of Jethro his father-in-law, the priest of Midian, and he led the flock to the far side of the wilderness and came to Horeb, the mountain of God. 2 There the angel of the Lord appeared to him in flames of fire from within a bush. Moses saw that though the bush was on fire it did not burn up. 3 So Moses thought, “I will go over and see this strange sight—why the bush does not burn up.”

4 When the Lord saw that he had gone over to look, God called to him from within the bush, “Moses! Moses!”

And Moses said, “Here I am.”

5 “Do not come any closer,” God said. “Take off your sandals, for the place where you are standing is holy ground.” 6 Then he said, “I am the God of your father, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac and the God of Jacob.” At this, Moses hid his face, because he was afraid to look at God.

7 The Lord said, “I have indeed seen the misery of my people in Egypt. I have heard them crying out because of their slave drivers, and I am concerned about their suffering. 8 So I have come down to rescue them from the hand of the Egyptians and to bring them up out of that land into a good and spacious land, a land flowing with milk and honey—the home of the Canaanites, Hittites, Amorites, Perizzites, Hivites and Jebusites. 9 And now the cry of the Israelites has reached me, and I have seen the way the Egyptians are oppressing them. 10 So now, go. I am sending you to Pharaoh to bring my people the Israelites out of Egypt.”

11 But Moses said to God, “Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?”

12 And God said, “I will be with you. And this will be the sign to you that it is I who have sent you: When you have brought the people out of Egypt, you will worship God on this mountain.”

13 Moses said to God, “Suppose I go to the Israelites and say to them, ‘The God of your fathers has sent me to you,’ and they ask me, ‘What is his name?’ Then what shall I tell them?”

14 God said to Moses, “I am who I am. This is what you are to say to the Israelites: ‘I am has sent me to you.’”

15 God also said to Moses, “Say to the Israelites, ‘The Lord, the God of your fathers—the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac and the God of Jacob—has sent me to you.’

“This is my name forever,
    the name you shall call me
    from generation to generation.

16 “Go, assemble the elders of Israel and say to them, ‘The Lord, the God of your fathers—the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob—appeared to me and said: I have watched over you and have seen what has been done to you in Egypt. 17 And I have promised to bring you up out of your misery in Egypt into the land of the Canaanites, Hittites, Amorites, Perizzites, Hivites and Jebusites—a land flowing with milk and honey.’

18 “The elders of Israel will listen to you. Then you and the elders are to go to the king of Egypt and say to him, ‘The Lord, the God of the Hebrews, has met with us. Let us take a three-day journey into the wilderness to offer sacrifices to the Lord our God.’ 19 But I know that the king of Egypt will not let you go unless a mighty hand compels him. 20 So I will stretch out my hand and strike the Egyptians with all the wonders that I will perform among them. After that, he will let you go.

21 “And I will make the Egyptians favorably disposed toward this people, so that when you leave you will not go empty-handed. 22 Every woman is to ask her neighbor and any woman living in her house for articles of silver and gold and for clothing, which you will put on your sons and daughters. And so you will plunder the Egyptians.”

4 Moses answered, “What if they do not believe me or listen to me and say, ‘The Lord did not appear to you’?”

2 Then the Lord said to him, “What is that in your hand?”

“A staff,” he replied.

3 The Lord said, “Throw it on the ground.”

Moses threw it on the ground and it became a snake, and he ran from it. 4 Then the Lord said to him, “Reach out your hand and take it by the tail.” So Moses reached out and took hold of the snake and it turned back into a staff in his hand. 5 “This,” said the Lord, “is so that they may believe that the Lord, the God of their fathers—the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac and the God of Jacob—has appeared to you.”

6 Then the Lord said, “Put your hand inside your cloak.” So Moses put his hand into his cloak, and when he took it out, the skin was leprous—it had become as white as snow.

7 “Now put it back into your cloak,” he said. So Moses put his hand back into his cloak, and when he took it out, it was restored, like the rest of his flesh.

8 Then the Lord said, “If they do not believe you or pay attention to the first sign, they may believe the second. 9 But if they do not believe these two signs or listen to you, take some water from the Nile and pour it on the dry ground. The water you take from the river will become blood on the ground.”

10 Moses said to the Lord, “Pardon your servant, Lord. I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue.”

11 The Lord said to him, “Who gave human beings their mouths? Who makes them deaf or mute? Who gives them sight or makes them blind? Is it not I, the Lord? 12 Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say.”

13 But Moses said, “Pardon your servant, Lord. Please send someone else.”

14 Then the Lord’s anger burned against Moses and he said, “What about your brother, Aaron the Levite? I know he can speak well. He is already on his way to meet you, and he will be glad to see you. 15 You shall speak to him and put words in his mouth; I will help both of you speak and will teach you what to do. 16 He will speak to the people for you, and it will be as if he were your mouth and as if you were God to him. 17 But take this staff in your hand so you can perform the signs with it.” (Exodus 3:1-22; 4:1-17 NIV) This is a long passage of Scripture to include in this post; however, I felt it helpful to include for understanding what I am sharing with you today.

Have you ever read a passage of Scripture and immediately felt the righteous conviction of the Holy Spirit? For me, this has happened many times; including recently, after reading the above passage from Exodus. Upon finishing my read up to Exodus 4:17, I realized that I have responded to God in a way similar to Moses. When God gave Moses his ‘mission’ and even shared with him the response that he would get, Moses replied respectfully to God with the reasons why he wasn’t ‘the man for the job.’

NOTE: My goal here is not to compare myself to Moses, but to share what has been laid on my heart that my own responses have been to God; over the years, when He has given my my own ‘mission.’ To simplify these similarities I am sharing them in a chart format.

God/I AMMosesMyself
God shows Himself to Moses in a non-consuming burning bush;
God tell Moses that he’s standing on Holy Ground
God declares that He’s the God of Moses’ father and Abraham, Isaac, and JacobMoses responds by hiding his faceOver and over again; in my life, God has shown me His presence in my life, His provision, His faithfulness, and His divine Love.
God gives Moses his mission to bring the Israelites out of Egypt with detailed instructions

Moses questions God: “Who am I?”God revealed to me a formal calling of going into pastoral ministry.
I believed my husbands dreams were more important than my own calling and I pushed back saying yes to God until I couldn’t say ‘no’ any longer (about 5 years). I also believed the lie, “Who am I that God could use ‘me’ ?”
God reassures Moses that He will be with him and that he will succeedMoses questions God: “What if people ask for God’s name?”Through the years of serving in ministry, God has shown me that He is with me; however, I have also offered God many ‘What If’ questions. What if someone asks my a Bible question or a question about God and I don’t know how to answer.
God responds to Moses’ question: I AM (the One who creates or brings into being);
the God of your fathers; the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob;
God gives detailed instructions in meeting with the Israelite elders and assures Moses that they will listen;
and taking the elders to the king of Egypt, including what to tell him, what it would take for the king to listen; and that the Egyptians would give the Israelites much, including gold & silver		Moses questions God: “What if they don’t believe me or listen to me?”Again with ‘What if ‘ questions; What if someone questions what I say; What if people ignore me; and so on.
God responds to Moses’ question with the gift of three signs: the staff, the leprous hand, and river water turned to bloodMoses gives God the excuse that he has slow speech and tongue.There’s been many times where I have bulked at God’s prompting for me to speak before others because I am not a dynamic charismatic speaker or someone that draws others to them. My insecurity becomes my excuse, until God pushes me forward.
God responds to Moses’ excuse with questions of who gave…, who makes…, who gives… Then God says ‘now go and I will help you and teach you what to say’Moses offers God a soft refusal by saying; “Please send someone else.”I don’t recall coming out and saying ‘Please send someone else’ to God or telling Him that I won’t do what He’s prompting me to do; however, by not stepping out in faith and by allowing my doubts and insecurities make my decisions for me, I am basically telling God to send someone else.
God responds to Moses’ soft refusal with adding in Moses’ brother Aaron and a reminder to take the staff for the signs to performMoses goes.God’s enlightening me with these similarities has been an eye-opener for me in stepping out in faith and trusting that God knows and is in control of the outcomes in what He’s asking me to do. Now I will respond, “Here I am, Lord; please send me, Your servant is listening.”

#TheLordProvides #TheLordSees #TheLordisThere

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