Tag Archives: barriers

BECOMING A DEEP REAL AUTHENTIC WOMAN OF GOD Part 6

     [From Part 5]  Whatever the reason for our distorted priorities, we can turn them around with our chosen priorities each new day and a reliance on Holy Spirit?

     At the close of part 5, I shared that we would ‘put it all together’ in this post. I was misguided in my believing such a thing. This morning I felt a nudge to go down another related path.

     Recently, during a discussion with a beautiful friend of mine, I came face-to-face with a reality. Thank you, friend! On my own strength I tend to hover in extremes. I will either entirely seek God and my own interpretation of where I believe he’s leading or I will immerse myself in whatever others say. Looking to humans to make my decisions. Extremes in most any context will lead to imbalance. While I wholeheartedly believe God is our first and most important counselor in any situation, I also know our relational God has put people in the lives of his children to be support, encouragement, and truth-tellers. We need others in our lives who seek the Lord and can speak godly advice into our ears. 

     God is very relational. Father, Son, and Holy Spirit make up the Trinity. This is our example of a perfect relationship. No barriers. No fears. Right priorities. Clear perspective. 

     This fifth and bonus barrier in relationships is isolation. Mankind was created by and for community. To be with others. Choosing not to include others in our lives, living in our own little bubble, leads to isolation … loneliness … a stahl in spiritual growth. 

     Personally, I have been wanting to pour out my heart to others. I want the ladies around me to choose to come together to build community. To build relationships. My heart is to be a listening ear and encouragement to my Sisters in Faith. I’ve been struggling to know how to break barriers and share my heart with those around me.

     I want to be a support, an encouragement, a resource, a hug when needed, a voice of legacy to this current generation and to those in the future. Sometimes … sometimes … I just don’t know how to put that into audible words. Written word is where I can speak, edit, rethink and send a better message. In person, I can struggle with knowing what to say and how to say it in a way that portrays how I really feel. 

     How does this relate to isolation and a barrier to relations in becoming a deep real authentic woman of God? The extremes of counting only on God (my interpretation of his leading) or the other end of the spectrum, seeking others for leading, cuts out the balance of seeking God, seeking wise counsel, and then seeking God for further direction. This plan keeps a healthy balance in our relationship with God and others. It breaks down barriers.

     May you find balance. May you seek your people who will lead you toward God.

If I can be one of those people for you, please reach out to me. My heart is burdened for you. May you know that there are other humans wandering around in this wilderness who truly care about you and your heart.

In Part 7, maybe … we’ll put it all together and look at ways to tear down these barriers to becoming a Deep Real Authentic Woman of God.

#BreakingBarriers#Reconnection

Contact me at soulcarecoach.amy@gmail.com to discuss breaking down barriers or to place an order for my new book “Wilderness Journey Living journal”. It’s a guided journal for women that leads you through eight weeks of Taking Steps Toward God through a variety of journaling styles.

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BECOMING A DEEP REAL AUTHENTIC WOMAN OF GOD Part 4

     [From Part 3]  Through years of healing, prayer, and study, I’ve learned my little girl mind subconsciously developed ways to protect myself by avoiding hard situations and trying to be perfect so as to not do anything ‘deserving of a spankin’. All the while, what was happening was unconsciously agreeing with the words spoken over me. By agreeing with the words, the lies, I made agreements with the enemy of my soul which he was all too happy to hold me to. These agreements or self protective vows were how my wounded mind and heart tried to protect me. What it actually did was keep me in a deep cycle of constant, sometimes subconscious, emotional and spiritual pain. The way out, the way to healing, began with Jesus.

     I feel this is a great point to stop and recap what I’ve shared so far. We are looking at four barriers to communication in Becoming Deep Real Authentic Women of God. Barriers can be spiritual and/or emotional chains that bind us and keep us from being free to be who God has created us to be. 

  • Fears. In looking at where fears come from, seeds are planted, watered, and grow from wounds in our past experiences.
  • Past. Our wounds from the past/our childhood, left open can keep us shackled to fear and unforgiveness, making connections with God and others difficult. The way out, the way to healing, begins with Jesus. 
  • Perspective. 

     Each of us have our own lenses or perspective we see life through. This perspective is tinted by life experiences, personality, DNA, and more. We have all learned through the feelings and beliefs about ourselves that have been stored up and treasured through our lives. This makes up our perspective about ourselves, God, and others.

     A reality for each of us to face is that the enemy/Satan wants us to believe we have nothing to offer God or anyone else. This perspective, or belief, is a lie. When we live out of this perspective, it causes a barrier in our relationships. Our living out of the perspective that we’re insignificant or what we have to say isn’t wanted by anyone, can lead to not sharing with the world the gifts God has given to us for his plan and purpose. I’ve personally lived in this way.

     Most of my adult life has been spent making decisions based on the belief I’m not as important as everyone else. That I don’t have anything to offer others, especially the God of the Universe. My belief that I would fail, and fear if I succeeded, kept me from using my God-given gifts. Thankfully, God has been working gently and kindly to reshape my perspective and beliefs. While I’m far from the masterpiece Abba has created me to be, I’m much closer than I was five years ago. Even three years ago. 

     Instead of us celebrating who we truly are in Christ, the enemy wants us disengaged, lifeless and constantly mourning who we wished we were. He wants nothing more than to see us crippled by self-doubt and drowning in insecurity. We are pushed further away from God and others when we fall into the trap of believing these lies. In a very real sense, we are then locking the door to our hearts from the inside. I have experienced this many times. 

     Growing up with the insecurities I had led me to believe no one would want to be my friend and for sure, no one would want to marry me.  Fortunately I was wrong. I have many friends and my husband and I have been married since 1990. Being an introvert and feeling this way about myself has made it very difficult to open myself up to relationships. This is another example of how our perspective can be a barrier to connection.

     The fears that we have developed through our past experiences have not only given way to how we view our present (our perspective), it also plays a large role in the priorities we set in our lives today.  

In Part 5, we will talk about our priorities as barriers to Becoming Deep Real Authentic Women of God.

#BreakingBarriers#Reconnection

Contact me at soulcarecoach.amy@gmail.com to talk about how your perspective is influencing your life and the decisions you are making.

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BECOMING A DEEP REAL AUTHENTIC WOMAN OF GOD Part 2

  [From Part 1] In preparation for this message, I put out a question on Facebook to see the most common barriers people experience in their relationships with God and others.  While there were a variety of responses, I found many of them fit under similar headings and there were several people with similar responses.  The order I am sharing with you is for the purpose of the flow of the message.

     The first barrier is FEAR.

     What is fear? It seems like a silly question to ask and answer. Everyone is acquainted with fear. The Wikipedia definition: 

     “Fear is a feeling induced by perceived danger or threat that occurs in certain types of organisms, which causes a change in metabolic and organ functions and ultimately a change in behavior, such as fleeing, hiding, or freezing from perceived traumatic events. Fear in human beings may occur in response to a specific stimulus occurring in the present, or in anticipation or expectation of a future threat perceived as a risk to body or life. The fear response arises from the perception of danger leading to confrontation with or escape from/avoiding the threat (also known as the fight-or-flight response), which in extreme cases of fear (horror and terror) can be a freeze response or paralysis.”

     There are so many fears connected to our relationships. Fears of disappointing God and others. Fears of the unknown. Fears of being hurt physically or emotionally. Fears of not measuring up, and the list goes on.

     Second Timothy chapter 1 verse 7 tells us:  “For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.” (NLT) 

** Look in a mirror.

     Knowing God’s Word tells us not to fear, why do we still fear? 

     I believe fear is a natural way to respond to a lot of things we experience in life.  In the words of Priscilla Shirer in her book ‘Fervent;’  “If I were your enemy, I’d magnify your fears, making them appear insurmountable, intimidating you with enough worries until avoiding them becomes your driving motivation.  I would use anxiety to cripple you, to paralyze you, leaving you indecisive, clinging to safety and sameness, always on the defensive because of what might happen.  When you hear the word faith, all I’d want you to hear is “unnecessary risk.”” 

     The enemy magnifies our fears just like a mirror can magnify our reflection. 

     All through my childhood and much of my adult life I have lived paralyzed by fears. Afraid I would make unforgivable mistakes. Afraid I wouldn’t measure up. Afraid of the what if’s. And afraid of what others think and feel about me.  If others were to reject me, what would I do? This is all I got, the me I am.  I went for years trying to be the perfect everything. Trying to control my surroundings, only to have the realization I DO NOT have that much control.  Now I can admit to not wanting all that control … it’s too much pressure.  My lack of control was magnified over ten years ago when I lost my twenty-two year old son in a motorcycle accident.  I was and am completely powerless to change the reality of this great loss.

     In looking at where my fears came from, I have learned the seeds were planted, watered, and grew from wounds in my past experiences.

In Part 3 we will cover The Past.

#BreakingBarriers#Reconnection

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DANCING WITH JESUS

As a little girl I dreamed of being a dancer. In my dreams, I danced beautifully all around the room. My elegant flowing gown sweeping across the floor like I was floating on air; being glided gracefully by my strong dance partner. We moved as one with grace and poise as though it was effortless. My dance partner and I were alone in the large beautiful space; there was a great glow streaming in through the windows, as though the radiance of God flooded the space. I wanted to stay in this space forever! Such peace. Such grace. Such love and acceptance. No fear. No shame. No hurt.

I am much older now and I still long for this sweet scene. To be dressed in the most beautiful ball gown with my King placing His crown on my head; He takes my hands in His and He glides me around the most beautiful ballroom, His radiance is filling the space. My King takes my hands in His and He glides us around the room in the most elegant dance I have ever seen. My dance with my King Jesus.

God is the creator of all things; an artist beyond our every imagination. He created the movements of dance; the messages of dance. There are so many messages in the art of dance. The artistry of the movements, the emotion of the dance, the connection of the partners; there can be no walls around either partner or the fluidity of the movements are disrupted and disastrous. When dancing with a partner, there cannot be a distance between the partners; either physically or connectively, or the message of the dance will change.

Another thought.

As an adult, I have considered ‘dancing with Jesus’ to be what a Christ follower will get to do once they arrive in Heaven after passing from this earth. I have had a change of mind; I still believe that Christ followers will get to dance with Jesus in Heaven; however, God has shown me that dancing with Jesus is also something that we can do here on earth when we remove the barriers standing between us and Jesus. When we are carrying shame, quilt, fear, wounds, etc., we aren’t able to see Jesus inviting us to dance with Him. These heavy bags also leave us unable to embrace Jesus fully or even get close enough to Him to move around the dancefloor.

So now what?

Every person’s dance looks different. Every person’s journey towards Jesus is different. The fact that is the same for all is that the heavy bags need to be left at the feet of Jesus so that we can take His hands and glide across His dancefloor surrounded by His radiance. Is this an easy task? No, but Jesus will help all along the way. Is it a one and done deal? No, but Jesus will be with you all along the way. Do I have to do this alone? No, you have Jesus and your people.

My dance with Jesus. Through the years, I have always loved to dance; some years the messages from my dancing were ‘different,’ but at this point in my life I see dance as a sign of healing from stuff of the past (Ecclesiastes 3:4; Jeremiah 31:13) and that my dream dance with my King Jesus seems a little more real. My current dance with Jesus looks like worship music in my ears, hands raised in worship, and some swaying back and forth. So if you see me in church during worship and you see my hands raised and body swaying, just know that I am enjoying a sweet dance with my King Jesus because He’s invited me to join Him (Psalm 149:3).

May you spend much time dancing with Jesus; every time He invites you to join Him!

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