Beyond letting go of belongings. Beyond letting go of wanting to know what’s next. Beyond letting go of a known lifestyle. Beyond. Beyond. Beyond. Walking through the process of grief while in a significant life transition, is no easy task. 

     At this point in my husband’s and mine major life shift, I’ve repeatedly found myself journeying through different aspects of grieving. Even though many have portrayed ‘stages of grief’ as a linear progression, I’m here to testify to a different perspective. Denial. Anger. Bargaining. Depression. Acceptance. I’ve experienced each one, often all within a day, only to revisit different emotions and/or feelings again and again. 

     Transitioning from living in a house to setting up temporary living in a travel trailer and not knowing what’s to be our living situation beyond fall. This has often elicited in me thoughts and feelings of anger pointed in different directions, including towards my husband who first introduced this new lifestyle choice to me. Maybe even a little at God because it has been obvious to us that he’s drawing us out to make this change. Is it okay for me to be angry at God? I believe so. He is our Father and he can handle any of our emotions, thoughts, feelings, or words. He can handle anything we direct his way. I also know it’s wise for me to be ready to hear from him words of correction because that’s what a good good Father does.

     This process started, I think, with feelings of denial on my part. A year ago when my hubby and I were close to making the decision to buy a camper, I retreated quickly and said no. No, it’s not the right time. And lately … lately I’ve been in denial of my own actions involved in this move; my part in buying a camper, and moving forward in this transition. It’s easy, and probably human nature, to place blame for things I’m not certain are God’s will for our lives. 

     Bargaining for me in this current adventure looks like prayer that includes surrender, bargaining (or begging), and tears. Again, God is a good good Father and has his ways of correcting his children as he answers prayers.

     Depression. Throughout the past several weeks, I’ve wandered in and out of short bouts of depression. Grieving new layers from the losses of my son, my parents, my in-laws, and my grandparents. This led to extreme heaviness on my heart and distracted me from the joys of life. Letting go of items I have been gifted, this too has led to a heavy heart. There’s so many aspects of this transition that have led to a burdensome heart and therefore helped me to take my eyes off the goodness of God and what great things he has for my hubby and I for this next chapter.

     Acceptance. Acceptance doesn’t mean I’m okay with everything that has happened or that I’m not struggling with all the things. To me, it means I can take comfort from my Holy Father. I can find solace and refuge in his presence. I can seek out trustworthy like minded friends to pray for me and remind me of all the ways God has blessed me, especially in the recent past. Acceptance is knowing and relying on our God who has it all under and within his control. It’s resting in the capable and loving embrace of a loving Father who has given so much for me.

For more information on the Stages of Grief: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Five_stages_of_grief#:~:text=According%20to%20the%20model%20of,against%20using%20it%20too%20literally.

If you are interested in working through your own grief and/or loss, please contact me at: soulcarecoach.amy@gmail.com

To order my newest book Wilderness Journey Living Journal: Taking Steps Toward God, please email me at soulcarecoach.amy@gmail.com