Reflecting on the celebrations of the Fourth of July look a little different for my family than other families. I have heard several times Happy Fourth or Happy Independence Day! While I celebrate the blessings of living in a ‘free’ land, I also grieve the loss of my son on this day. It’s with mixed emotions that I venture into this day. I am so grateful for my independence as a citizen of the USA and I am; at the same time, sad for the missing part of my family and grateful that I can know that Tad’s in the presence of our Heavenly Father and not spending eternity separate from Him. I hate that I can’t be with Tad and I miss him more than I can speak; however, truly he has always been God’s son first and mine second so I am thankful for the 22 short years that I had the privilege of being his mom. Of course, there were times when I really wanted to string him up by his toes because he pushed me to my breaking point; but I still loved him with all my heart.

Tad liked to live on the edge; of what, I don’t know but always on the edge. He loved much. He liked to make people laugh. And he always helped me to not take myself so seriously. Boy, I miss his hugs. (I know, random thought.) Anyway, grieving the loss of my son has been a journey in so many ways. I have seen God work in more ways than I could ever imagine. I have had people pray for me that I have never met. I have experienced a pain like no other pain I have ever experienced before; and at the same time, a love like no other because it comes from my Abba Father. Grief is a wild ride.

The reason that I share all of this today is because today; the Fourth of July 2022, marks eight years since my Tad went to be with the Lord because of a motorcycle accident. The day began with a celebration of my husband’s birthday. His birthday is July third and he had to work on that day so we; as a family, celebrated on the fourth. God blessed us with a fun day of playing with Emmett at the ‘frog park’; as he called it, and then we went shopping together. My husband took his Harley out for a ride while our kids and I made his favorite meal. After dinner, Tad went for a ride himself on his dad’s Harley. When he left for that ride, it was the last time we saw him. As anyone who has experienced something like this knows, the details of such days tend to be forever implanted in your mind. Sometimes they get a little jumbled, but they are there. Tad’s son Emmett was three years old when he lost his daddy. It’s been a journey for him as well. Emmett is now 11 years old and is so much like his dad. I know that Tad would be so proud of the man that he is becoming!

Emmett and I have had some interesting conversations where he shares with me his thoughts on things of life and I felt it fitting for him to share from his perspective.

Question: What do you wish people understood about what it’s like to be a young person whose lost his dad at a young age?

Emmett: It’s not easy only having one parent especially when the one that died was your best friend and the only one left you don’t really get along with.

Question: How is life without a dad to guide you through life?

Emmett: It can be hard at times. Sometimes I think it’s not fair. But I always remember this is all part of God perfect plan.

While the people around us celebrate with fireworks and parades, we just work to get through the day and remember how blessed we are for the loved ones that we still have with us today. One of the things that makes me smile is remembering how Tad would have been happy that he went to Heaven with a bang because fireworks were happening in the area of his accident. This may seem like a strange thing to smile about, unless you knew Tad.